Poetry & Prozac

Last night I had a bunch of weird dreams. One of them had Cash/Frank overtones. Which I first was really weirded out and puzzled by but the more I think about it the more I am kind of all ...hmm, yeah about it. Even though I don't write The Cab. Or MCR.

I bet none of you got a yam from your mother in the mail today. My life is weird. And I love it.

Leah-who-I-hate is here however, and I don't really love that. At all. I keep trying not to hate her pettily, but I can't help it. Also annoying is that everyone else seems to like her. Whatever. She didn't get a yam because she is not cool like me.

Math midterm over. I didn't do fabulously, I am 99% sure that variants are not supposed to be negative numbers, but, I did it and it is done. And in true English major fashion, to reward myself for taking a math test, I went and bought cheap books at the bookstore.

Which reminds me that I really really need to talk to girthygrizelda but she is not on AIM. I suppose I could call her. Hmm. And find out if she happens to have my missing brand new sweater (seriously, somehow between the store, the back of her car, and my aprtment it vanished. Soo...).

But, okay, buying cheap books, no authors that I really recognized, so I was reading the backs of books and thinking about my literary kinks.

They mostly involve trapped/stranded people. And boarding schools. (Aside- slashatthedisco has a lot of really bad boarding school!fic. It's awesome.)

Also last night I had a dream about this little girl who was my favorite when I worked at the preschool. I've had a few dreams about her over the last year or so and I woke up really missing her, which is borderline weird-creepy-and-stalker-like, but, yeah.

You know you've been reading too much slash before bedtime when you dream you are a gay man scuba diving with your lover.

Um.

Yes.

So anyway, I've had a bunch of pretty weird dreams lately.

( Does anyone know the dream significance of sea mammals? And is it something I want to know? )

Right, so, today I went to a class which I haven't been very good at attending for no particular reason other than it's the first of a block of four, so if I want a break, that's my option. But today's the midterm so obviously I went because I am not THAT self-defeating. And the midterm? Took me 20 minutes to finish and I was by no means the first one done. So, it was nice, but also kind of frustrating. So now I'm back for another hour or so.

I have been having WEIRD dreams latel.

* I was in New York with girthygrizelda and her mom but they wouldn't let us stop and look around. Then I dreamed I was in London with my Grandma, brother, and cousin and she wanted us to see some historical sight but we'd been there before and she was telling the same story and I also think it may have been Santa's Village.

* Then I had a dream that I was in a horror movie. The group I was with had just gotten alien/robot half-breeds to protect us and I just knew that they were going to go rogue and kill us all but no one would take me seriously. There was this room where our 3 rabbits, some birds, and I think some hamsters or something lived and I didn't want them to get eaten so I put the rabbits in their cage and put a protective covering over it and gave them a bunch of apples and salad so they wouldn't be hungry. I woke up before anything bad happened though.

* I also dreamt I was an alter boy. That might have been the horror movie dream, or the one where I met Beyonce's mom at Silver Strand and she wanted to give me a lot of money.

* Night before last I had a bunch of dreams that I don't remember. I DO however remember that every dream, or the end of each dream featured an Office-style confessional. In my defense I had mainlined like six episodes right before I went to bed.

* Last night I was at my aunt's beach house and there was a photoshoot for Supernatural. Only, it was happy and sunshiney and lechatfier was in it too. Jensen Ackles was being a really big jerk and I detested him, but somehow he, Jared Padalecki, lechatfier and I ended up hanging out and Jensen and I made out and then we all went to the beach. Where lechatfier and Jared started making out and being all in love. Jensen and I had just kissed 'cause he was cute and I was there. So we left them and went for a walk and Jensen told me he knew a great place to get Chicken Parmigana so we went there. It turned out to be in Monterey and I felt kind of bad for not going to visit sparly and my brother but Jensen told me we were on the other side of town from them. So we went to the resturant and they just served us all of these weird garlicky sides, so I made him stop at a gas station so we could get mint gum on the way back.

Um, I don't know. It was weird. They all were. And I never usually remember my dreams for this long in a row.

Man, I am a grumpy bunny. Not like... miserable, or suicidal or even all that bitchy, but just, majorly meh.

* I am ANXIOUSLY awaiting packages in the mail. I realize that I only ordered them Thursday/Friday so that at the earliest they were mailed Saturday, and therefore Tuesday is an unreasonable expectation for delivery, but dammit, I want them!

* Migraine.

* I am probably failing yet another math class and I just cannot bring myself to care (which is, you know, in large part WHY I'm probably-failing...). At this point I'm just going to take my D and smile and hope my advisor tells me D's count though I highly suspect that is not the case.

* I couldn't get a therapy appointment until next week, which is totally my fault, but dammit I really wanted to be counseled.

* I am sort-of-maybe-not-really fighting with my mother. It's frustrating, not to mention confusing.

* Where is the fic dammit? I need fic to read and be happified and comforted by. I am betaing for a girl who misspelled "chapter" in her e-mail. No way this is a positive sign...

On a not-related note: I happened to catch a rerun of an episode of Stargate:Atlantis the other night. Why did no one try harder to pimp this on me? Joe Flanigan is PRETTY!

Also last night I had a dream that featured: long walks, donuts, my mother, Emily turning into Jill my roommate from London, leftover paper, my professor in an elevator, a ridiculously heavy backpack, BBQ chips, a 2 liter bottle of ginger ale, Sally (girthygrizelda), Matt Caplan, and San Bernardino High School. My subconcious is seriously screwed up.

So not last night, but the night before I dreamt that I was at Disneyland with two girls from Junior High (Eliza and Melissa). And I was naked. I think something may have happened to my clothes and we had spares that just weren't with me, but, anyway, I was naked. And my dad was there closing down the "Alice in Wonderland" ride because it wasted too much water and what happened if there was a war? I don't remember if I thought this in the dream or when I woke up, but I know I wondered why "Splash Mountain" was okay and "Alice in Wonderland" was, and the answer was something about recirculating water. Anyway, so Eliza and Melissa are already in the house the ride was in and I'm standing discussing water conservation with my father while naked. Finally I go into the ride and get into the line which is all twisty and turny and hard to wiggle through (I have lots of dreams like this, with me having to get through impossibly awkward spaces. I try not to think too much about why) and we finally get out, basically where we started, to get to the ride, and the whole thing is caution-taped off and there's, like, rubber cement on the floors. They'd already started closing the ride to demolish it. We were bitter and reluctantly left the house, I'm still naked, or naked again, whatever. And as we're leaving Melissa fell down the stairs. And then I was woken up.

The weird part, for me, is that I can totally pinpoint where parts of the dream came from.
Disneyland - blkqueenphoenix are talking about finally, for real, actually going this time, in all seriousness.
"Alice in Wonderland" - The soon-to-be-former-UPN affliate keeps playing this bizzarre "Alice in Wonderland" starring Kate Beckinsdale that I've caught a few minutes of lately while channel surfing. This could also have a little bit to do with my new Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab obsession.
nudity - It's not unusual for me to be naked in dreams. It's moderately uncomfortable but I tend to forget that I am naked. However, right before bed that night I watched the "Trash" episode of Firefly, wherein at the end Mal is naked and everyone is treating him totally normally except that no one will look below his shoulders and it is vaguely hilarious. So that was probably a contributing factor.

And now, a semi-related poll...

Poll #787687
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All, participants: 19

Can you name your 3 favorite Disneyland rides?

Have you ever been to Disneyland/Disneyworld?

Okay, so what's your favorite Disneyland ride?

Second favorite?

Third favorite?

You all ready for a random list again?

* Why am I watching Celebrity Poker Showdown? Again? Why does this show entertain me? I can watch it for hours and dammit I am not that girl (also, GIP). Bravo owns me.

* I had this dream last night about one of my finals (Early American Lit) and it was that class, and there were four essay questions which is what the professor has told us, but the one question I remember from the dream was 'Name actresses who have played Dolly Parton'... WTF, brain? WTF?

* The night before last (I believe this was the night after luvginnyarwen, snowfire and I stayed up all night geeking out) I woke up when my roommate got up, and dimly, in the fogs of only being partly awake I remember thinking "Oh good, now I can go back to dreaming about X-Men without feeling like a dork". *sigh* There are so many things wrong with that thought process... It's fun being me.

* Beach with sparly on Saturday! Yaaaay! And the Little Girls. And maybe the Nolin's. Even though I'm STILL bruised from the last time I hung out with them. I'm thinking we'll go to Santa Monica 'cause that way if it's cold or we don't wanna go home when it gets dark there's the pier and the Prommenade (where there is an Old Navy and a California Pizza Kitchen...) Plus the last time I was there I saw a pod of dolphins. The only thing is I'm not sure how good a swimming beach it is and that's important with this crowd.

ETA:

* Most. Backhanded. Compliment. EVER: "You've got the kind of beauty that the eye can't see". Thank you Taboo. That line always totally cracks me up, though I ADORE this song (Love Is A Question Mark).

* I keep finding change in my right pocket, but I've emptied my pocket twice now. Is it possible I have discovered the mystical change-growing pants? If so, SCORE!

Just so you all know, I love you guys so much. My flist makes me so happy. So, just, thank you all for everything. You're more important to me than you know.