Poetry & Prozac

Where Shoulder Meets Neck (a soundtrack)

2009-11-15T05:45:51Z

This is the 13 song playlist for a fic I've been working on. Help yourself!

This is honestly less of a soundtrack and more a playlist. I used it while writing Where Shoulder Meets Neck to capture a tone. Some of the lyrics are significant, many are not. But, hey, it's free music.

Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
You know that I could use somebody/ Someone like you and all you know and how you speak

The Replacements - Here Comes a Regular
I used to live at home, now I stay at the house/ And everybody wants to be special here

Regina Spektor - Samson
You are my sweetest downfall/ I loved you first , I loved you first

Bell X1 - Eve, The Apple of My Eye

Band of Horses - The End's Not Near, It's Here
We don't want to lose our souls/ We're the saints who don't want to be found

Mae - All Deliberate Speed
Losing sleep for days./ Is this just a phase?/ Are there other ways?/ The one who sings is the one who pays.

Poe - Strange Wind

The Format - On Your Porch
And as our eyes start to close/ I turn to you and I let you know/ That I love you

The Decemberists - Red Right Ankle
This is the story of the boys who loved you / Who love you now and loved you then

Brian Webb - Ballad of Her
I'll trade a moment of your attention/ for a lifetime of regret

Laura Marling - Typically Shit
I’ll keep on going, I’ve got nothing to lose/ I gave up morals when I took up booze

Martin Sexton - Black Sheep
you can never go home again once you leave/ say anything just to steer me away from the truth of what I who I am and what I believe

Adele - Chasing Pavement
If I'm wrong I am right/ Don't need to look no further/ This ain't lust/ I know this is love

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-14T18:08:00

2009-11-15T02:09:09Z

Yule assignment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm a little bit nervous and excited and trying to force myself to prioritize writing projects, but, you guys, I have PLURAL writing projects. That actually stand a snowball's chance of getting COMPLETED.

So awesome.

Kayla and/or Shay, I may be needing some assistance from you guys. Email me (bluestargirl at gmail dot com) when you get a chance?

Yuletide Letter

2009-11-13T08:38:54Z

Dear Yuletide writer,

Please don't freak out. It'll be okay, I promise. I know none of my prompts make any sense or go together or anything - I have more suggestions below! Just pick something you think you'll have fun writing, have fun writing it, and I'll love it. Really.

I would love a piece focusing on Holmes/Watson's established romantic relationship. It can be set around a case, either a canon one or something you've made up. Or, just sex, or, whatever inspires you, really. The relationship doesn't have to be established, either. I'm not picky about tone whether it's fluff or angst or anything in between. It's completely cool if you're not down with writing slash. I love the dynamic between Holmes and Watson, however you choose to depict it. A casefile would be awesome, or a character piece about Watson's feelings surrounding Holmes' death. I really would love whatever you choose to write for this fandom. Of the two, I find Watson more likable, should that be helpful for you to know.

For Disney RPF, I'd really like to see a friendship between David Henrie and Nick Jonas. Whether you write a romantic relationship or just friends, it's really important to me that these guys genuinely LIKE each other a lot, and aren't just hanging out because they're contractually obligated or having hate-sex or hooking up because they can't be with the people they want to be with. Feel free to toss other Disney people in, Nick's brothers, David's co-stars, as long as the piece centers on Nick and David. I suppose if you wanted to you could go the Nick/Selena/David route, but I really would like the focus to be on Nick and David being friends. For the record, Nick's my faaaaaavorite.

What I really want is something that focuses primarily on Danny and Casey's relationship during the series. Established relationship fic where they're secretly dating from the beginning would make me deliriously happy. Or friendship gen, or a Danny character study. Danny's probably the most compelling Sports Night character, should that be helpful to know. You're welcome to include other characters from the show, but I'm really more interested in a close-up on Danny and Casey, rather than a sprawling ensemble piece.

I loved the Madeleine L'Engle books as a kid, so I'm kind of wary requesting fic about it. But I trust you! I never thought I'd say this in a fic request, but, I'd rather not read porn about Vicky and Adam, so a PG-13ish story would be awesome. Ideally, I'd love to read a happy, longterm relationship Vicky/Adam fic set after "Troubling A Star". Feel free to pull any of the characters of the L'Engle canon in to the story, as long as it centers around Vicky and Adam. If that relationship isn't your cup of tea, I'd love to see Vicky and Poly meet, with or without Adam being involved. A Vicky/Adam/Poly romantic relationship would also be really interesting to read. I love all three of these characters to pieces.

Squicks, kinks, and other things you probably want to know...

* Firstly, I don't have any triggers, so write what you're comfortable with and I'll be comfortable reading it.

* I'd rather have a good fic that includes things I don't care for (like non-con), than a mediocre fic that fulfills my every request. If you come to a place where you think you can either write a good story or make me happy, write a good story. (An addendum to this: I'd rather read badfic than mediocre fic. If you have to go cracky and silly and make me laugh to fulfill your prompt, go ahead.)

* I'm generally not picky about tone. I'd like things to resolve happily if you can manage, but getting to read a great story is way more important to me.

* I don't like non-con and I'm not a huge fan of dub-con. I think all of my prompts lend themselves to pretty happy stories, but, what do I know?

* Sex is not a bad thing. (Except for the Madeline L'Engle fandom.) I like D/s, I like vanilla, I like in-between. I like fairly explicit consent (don't go overboard, but if there's alcohol, or sleepy sex, or bondage, or another scenario in which one or more parties may not be totally lucid, clarify please!). Rimming is a pretty bulletproof kink of mine.

* Sex is also not mandatory by any means. If you want to fade to black or not have sex be an issue at all, that's fine by me.

* My fic can be found at incendiarywits. There isn't a ton of recent stuff, but it's available as a resource.

* This journal is largely public, feel free to poke around for ideas if you like!

Thank you so much for signing up for Yuletide, I can't wait to read what you've come up with!

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-11T22:57:00

2009-11-12T07:15:33Z

I am around, I have just not been a posting bunny. Seriously, you guys, I am around ALL. THE. TIME. AIM, googlechat, twitter, lurking people's comments, you want me, I'm probably waiting to be poked at.

I just don't really have anything to post. I need to post my yuletide letter, but, I am procrastinating at that for no good reason. Aaand I should have fic to post (or, link to) in the next few days-ish.

Mostly my reactions these days are bite-sized and better twittered/IMed ("RLiv? Wait what?" "Stay away from my Nicholas, Lohans") than individually posted. Or they are emo and obnoxious and serve no one well.

I do have some old social angst stuff though. This is in part recent stuff alluded to in past entries, and part old painful stuff, and part old frustrations. I've been hurt by friends, online and off, because this is life. So here's some stuff about you and us I'd like to say.

I have some dear, dear online friends. People I've visited or talk to near-daily or did at some point or for some reason or another I love deeply. I assume everyone has these, maybe I'm wrong. But I don't consider myself cliquish, and hope I don't come across that way. If you want in, please, please come in. My contact info is public, and if there's something else you want, feel free to ask. I would LOVE a surprise e-mail or random IM or whatever. Seriously, that would bring me so much glee, I'm smiling at the thought.

The thing is, I know what it's like to try really hard for someone (or feel like you're trying really hard for someone) and not be acknowledged for it, while all the while they complain about being misunderstood and no one loves them and why won't anyone just be nice to them. Online and in real life. And I would really never like to be that girl that you're working to befriend who just isn't getting the message.

If you have something to say to me, honestly, good or bad, I'd rather you say it than not. Even if it hurts.

I want to be your friend, I do I do I do.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-06T14:19:00

2009-11-06T22:21:54Z

The annual Thanksgiving debacle is staring EARLY this year. Which means that I will be out of town and very probably sans internet until Sunday evening.

I'll be around twitter, but, yeah. Spoil me for things and die!

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-05T19:27:00

2009-11-06T04:17:35Z

I've picspammed Nick, and I've picspammed Joe, and not only do I want to be fair and balanced and not perpetuate Kevin:Ignored I also really like him a lot.

Plus it's his birthday! Under the cut you will find 30+ pictures of Kevin (and his brothers) as well as an assortment of fun-facts about why he is awesome.

This is Kevin. He's super sweet and polite.

He's also really good-natured. You probably have to be to be the oldest of four boys, especially when your siblings include "Moody" Joe Jonas and the super-competitive and freakishly driven Nicholas.

Kevin is not the most photogenic guy, but he can be really really attractive:

Anyone who's seen JONAS knows Kevin's an awesome sport. And if you HAVEN'T seen JONAS, for godsake, why not?! It's hilarious (and Kevin pretty much carries the comedy. Because he is a GOOD FUCKING SPORT).

Kevin has GREAT eyes. They're pretty and mystery-colored and I'm a little obsessed with them.

There was a hair-straightening phase. My unpopular life opinion is that I really like this look on him.

Kevin taught himself how to play guitar.

He also taught Joe how to play guitar.

They shared a room growing up.

Kevin... has a tendency to wear high heeled boots and make other ridiculous fashion choices.

His ass has it's own zip code (so sayeth elterriblefizzy who helped me out with the Kevin-facts).

He also plays piano.

HE HAS FRECKLES ON HIS MOUTH OMG. (Um, sorry. That one was for elterriblefizzy.

He loves his brothers A LOT:

screen cap by ashavahishta

and would probably do ANYTHING for them.

...and that's why you should love Kevin Jonas. He's completely rad.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-04T13:39:00

2009-11-04T22:29:57Z

Meme that's popped up a couple of times on my flist.

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People Right Now:
10. I love you and miss you and I keep thinking up questions to ask now that it's too late.
09. I don't think you have any idea how much you broke me. It's taken me a lot of time to move on, but now that I have, I'm pretty sure your abandoning me was one of the best things that ever happened to me.
08. I think about you a lot the time and wonder where you are. I hope you're okay. I tried so hard for you and would have kept trying if you'd let me, I hope it made a difference.
07. I miss the first time we were together, when things were still new and shiny between us, instead of exhausting. I wish I trusted you the way I used to.
06. Just when I think you can't be any better to me, you are. I'm not as good to you as you are to me. I love you and I'm so so grateful you're in my life.
05. I don't know how we clicked as hard as we did, but I look back on our first adventure together with so much fondness. You're sweet and kind and get all of the things I don't know how to say to anyone else. Thank you.
04. Friendship with you is so easy. Every time we see each other we're back where we left off effortlessly. Every moment with you is just fun.
03. I really like you and want to be your friend, but you make it so difficult. Just let me in, I could be good for you, I swear.
02. My life got so much better because of you. You brought all of the good things in me to the surface.
01. I feel sad for you because you don't know me and my gorgeous fabulous incredible friends and probably never will.

Nine Things About Myself:
09. I'm really really lazy.
08. Until yesterday I hadn't finished a from scratch story in 18 months, and that was a 200 word ficlet.
07. I'm deaf in my right ear. It's mostly not an issue, but, fun-fact.
06. When I was a kid I won a fishing contest.
05. I always wanted to be a twin.
04. I'm a big fan of routine and consistency, but not so great at establishing them.
03. I love jewelry but suck at remembering to wear it.
02. I recently learned something that my mother told me when I was 12 - no one can be everything to you. And instead of being saddened by that, I think it's really awesome.
01. This meme is way harder to do than I expected it to be.

Eight Ways to Win My Heart:
08. Hug/cuddle/snuggle with me. I am a tactile person in a world of personal space bubbles.
07. Bring me a present. Just a little one. A flower, an article that made you think of me, whatever.
06. Surprise me.
05. Be around to connect with. Talk to me.
04. Take me on a roadtrip.
03. Make me laugh.
02. Make me laugh.
01. Make me laugh.

Seven Things That Cross My Mind a Lot:
07. The Jonas Brothers.
06. Fandom/internet meta.
05. Band of Brothers.
04. Social angst.
03. Worrying in general.
02. Songs getting stuck in my head.
01. Food.

Six Things I Do Before I Fall Asleep:
06. Climb into bed.
05. Take off my glasses.
04. Turn off the light.
03. Erase my phone inbox, re-read my sent messages and delete them.
02. Put my phone on my nightstand.
01. Daydream myself to sleep.

Five People Who Mean a Lot:
05. My flist. (Especially certain people on it. You know who you are. Yes, you.)
04. My immediate family. Brother, father, mother
03. My "sisters" Sally Carly Katie Molly
02. My aunts, uncles, and grandparents
01. My cousins.

Four Things You're Wearing Right Now:
04. Black jeans
03. Northern Downpour t-shirt
02. My "paper crane" necklace
01. A Nick Jonas-esque headband.

Three Songs That You Listen to Often (Currently):
03. Kings of Leon - Use Somebody
02. Regina Spektor - The Call
01. Jonas Brothers - Free Fallin'

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die:
02. Fall in love.
01. Travel to every continent.

One Confession:
01. My confession is that I'm not ready to confess the things I need to confess.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-11-02T19:38:00

2009-11-03T03:53:12Z

Whoops, I haven't posted in awhile. Last week was really good, but the last few days have been kicking my ass emotionally. I just feel super frustrated about my life and internet social stuff and I've never been good at just letting things roll off my back.

No one's actually done anything to me, I'm just sad about certain people's cliquey tendencies. I don't even really care about not being included anymore (though it always sucks to be left out), I'm just genuinely baffled by the choice to lock yourself away and avoid interacting with the rest of a fandom.

I am LOVING my fannish experience lately. Especially since the Easy friending meme. It's just so much fun flailing WITH people instead of at them.

Speaking of friends, mine are incredible. I know some gorgeous incredible sweet loving funny generous talented women who for some baffling reason give a fuck about me too. I don't pretend to understand, but I'm so so grateful to them.

And, I'm always around, okay? You need someone to talk to about whatever, happy, sad, reality, fiction, anything, hit me up. bluestargirl at gmail dot com (and gtalk too, obviously), purestarwater6 on AIM, www.twitter.com/kelseya. I mean it, if any of you need anything please feel free to come to me. I;m not sure I can balance out all of the incredible kindness I've been given, but I'm more than willing to try.

hey there pretty lady/ tell me how ya doin' /tell me what can i do to help

2009-10-28T07:39:37Z

Dear Nick Jonas,

WHAT ARE YOU DOING???

I mean, I don't really care about the whole solo side-project thing. I mean, you're in a band with your brothers, how much can you possibly break up (she asks, jinxing the band)? And I'm actually really curious to see what "solo" Nick Jonas sounds like. Good job getting me to fork out another $15 to you. Yeah "Nick Jonas & the Administration" sounds stupid and more reminiscent of "Selena & the Scene" than "Elvis Costello & the Attractions". Also, way to flaunt a family (and fans) in joke in the name of your side project. Branching out, possibly you're doing it wrong.

But, whatever, it's cool.

I'm a little worried though, darling, that you are turning into Spencer Smith .

Don't get me wrong, I love Spencer a lot (now). But that is a relatively new development, and I'm not sure you really want to be using him as a role model (well, better him than Ryan Ross I guess. Though he's also rocked the headscarf. PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, NICHOLAS, DO NOT TURN INTO RYAN ROSS).

Are you having some sort of psychotic break? Are you jealous because people paid more attention to Joe and his fabulous hair for one weekend than they did to you?

Just, stop what you're doing, baby. Come over, we can talk about it and cuddle and tuck you in with a nice bowl of soup. It will all be okay, I promise.

Love,
~me

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-27T16:01:00

2009-10-27T23:32:47Z

The last 24 hours have been SO GOOD. Not because anything extraordinary has happened, but, Joe Jonas is supper pretty, I got to talk to several people I love a lot last night (including my little brother for TWO HOURS last night - he punched himself in the face dancing recently), the two year olds were super excited to see me and gave me hugs this morning, my BFFFFFFFFF brought me caffeine, the pomegranates are ripe. It's just been nice, and it looks to continue at least through the evening. Yay!

Also I totally accidentally managed to catch Jonathan Jackson's first episode back on General Hospital. It was awesome. How come sometimes things coming full circle makes you feel old and depressed and other times it's comforting and wonderful?

wordsaremyfaith and I would really like to read some good Wizards of Waverly Place fic, specifically Alex/Justin fic. (We've both already read "In Fire, In Ice".) Does anyone have recs?

Also I feel that in addition to the "World War III" vid of my dreams, there should be a BoB vid to "Battlefield" and a Nix/Winters vid to "Kung Fu Grip", because I am the most irreverent person ever.

Quick meme under the cut, stolen from liketheroad:

Current Books: I started 'Curtain' by Agatha Christie yesterday. I just finished 'The Alienist' by Caleb Carr which was super awesome.

Current Playlist: This meme is so timely. I switched commuting playlists two days ago. The one I'm listening to now is like 80 of my favorite songs. It's kind of nonsense to anyone but me, but I love it lots.

Current Guilty Pleasure: I've pretty much accepted my fondness of all things Disney and Jonas (though, haha, awkward conversation with my brother about it last night), so, I think I'm going with Facebook and especially the Farmville app. It's completely stupid, but I still check it multiple times a day. Oh. And also the Military History channel.

Current Colour: The plum-y purple color that's in a bunch of clothes lately.

Current Drink: I'm on a Diet Coke kick again lately. Which is bad, but, mmm, caffeine.

Current Food: The pomegranate tree in our yard is starting to ripen. I shelled 3 fruits today, so I'm about to be on a major pomegranate kick.

Current Favourite Show: Ehh. JONAS, probably. There's nothing that's really captured me lately.

Current Wishlist: A really cool adventure-y job to fall into my lap. Bonus points if it involves music in some capacity.

Current Needs: To stop being lazy and go put on a sweater. It's cooled down a lot in the last hour or so.

Current Triumphs: It's been a really good day. Any time I'm in this good a mood at 4:30 pm is an accomplishment and a joy.

Current Bane of My Existence: Money. My tendency to be bored and discontent and bad tempered.

Current Celebrity Crush: Joe Jonas all of the sudden. And Nick always. And Kevin.

Current Indulgence: The television as background noise to playing on the internet.

Current Blessing: Good days, my friends, Joe Jonas' haircut.

Current Slang: "Your face"/"Your mom" before anything. Usually a nonsense thing, like "Your mom likes breakfast".

Current Outfit: gray flip-flops, jeans, purple t-shirt (and in a second I'm going to put on a green cardigan and maybe some earings and makeup).

Current Excitement: Joe Jonas' hair. The fact that I'm actually writing a fic and really liking it. My trip to see citibyrd and murgatrude in less than a month. blkqueenphoenix on Friday. Halloween!

Current Mood: Good! Happy! Enthusiastic!

so hard admitin' when it's quittin' time

2009-10-25T23:41:59Z

Fuck yeah, Joe Jonas. He has won the internet today.

Also annakovsky's Easy vid. And elterriblefizzy and murgatrude who flailed in capslock with me.

YAY, INTERNET!

In other news, I still hate facebook and all the high school-y angst it brings me.

Also, I hadn't been so fond of Glee but the last episode and a half were AWESOME. Would totally read Rachel/Puck, Rachel/Quinn, Rachel/Finn, Rachel/Quinn/Finn, aaand Rachel/Quinn/Finn/Puck. NOM.

I don't actually have anything to post but ♥♥♥Easy♥♥♥ and HOT DAMN, Joseph Jonas, and also, I'm alive. So, there ya go.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-20T15:47:00

2009-10-21T01:45:46Z

I've been promising wordsaremyfaith a Joespam for awhile now. And yesterday seemed not awesome for a lot of people. Clearly we all need more Joe in our lives. So, you know, enjoy!

Sometimes I get distracted by Joe's ... Joeness and forget how HOT he is. Nnnnngh.

This is one of my favorite Joe picture ever. I love how STILL he is, just for that second.

Again with the still. I like it when hyper boys slow down.

muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuscles!

Nnnngh.

His eyyyyyyyyyyyes.

Yeah. I love Joe a lot.

I also love my friends. ENJOY, you guys:

YOU'RE WELCOME.

This picture always makes me think of opera.

Such a rockstar.

I really enjoy Joe in glasses. Especially during public events.

God he's pretty.

You're welcome again.

Tamborine!

I love so much about the things he chooses to be.

..including his little owwie nose and formal purple polo shirt.

Nnnngh, again.

In conclusion, enjoy:

lacy, gently wafting curtains

2009-10-20T01:14:25Z

* Last night I went to the 50th concert of my lifetime. Like, on purpose ones. Yes, I can count them all (and also I've been keeping fairly detailed track the last few years). It's extra epic since I didn't really start going to many shows until college-ish (and by "college-ish", I mean please read "bandom").

But. Not the point. The POINT is that it was Brand New and Manchester Orchestra, and, man I really needed to be crushed in a pit and be all sweaty and sing at the top of my lungs for a bit. I really, just, feel so much better spiritually or whatever than I did two days ago. I'm less apathetic, more creative, happier. It was a good show, I was stoked that Brand New played a bunch of older stuff, socially I ended up having a lot of fun despite being kind of worried about how things were going to go down. It was just a really good night except for that 4 hours of sleep I got thing.

* Yesterday morning Nix-the-sexiest-laptop wouldn't start. I could get to the password screen and not much further, but, this afternoon I managed to fix him! YAY! I was not digging the idea of having to send my month-old computer back to get fixed. He is extra sexy right now. Whatever, I'm attached, okay?

* I KNOW no one plays memes with me, but that is not going to stop me from trying. So.

The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about.

I don't IP log, and anon commenting is always on, so if you have a secret question, feel free to ask. Or e-mail me. Most of my contact info is in my user info.

* Oh! Flist! I need things from you! Specifically a Kings of Leon primer and a David Henrie primer (aaand a David/Lorenzo primer). Help?

* It seems like today's been not great for a lot of people on my flist. Me either. I may picspam tonight, but, as I feel crappy, for now I am just going to direct your attention back to the Nickspam I did a couple of weeks a go. I swear it's better than chocolate and totally makes things better.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-16T15:09:00

2009-10-16T22:30:01Z

So, a lot of my work day, I am pretty much alone with my thoughts for company. Which means I wander hilariously from day dreams to songs being stuck in my head to whatever. One of the things I was thinking about today is the Jonas Brothers/Kings of Leon connection (by which I mean, the hilarious need to pair them up. Which I enjoy). And then I started thinking about other brothers and bands and of course started thinking about the Brothers Way.

I kind of want to want to ship Nick/Mikey 'cause that would just be PRETTY. But, like, I really think Mikey would get bored of Nick sitting there being a little music genius and just sort of wander off. Plus Alicia would chew Nick up and spit him out. (I am maybe a little bit terrified of Alicia Way. I think she's really pretty and awesome and stuff, but TERRIFYING.) But. Joe. Also really pretty with Mikey. Not boring. Mikey and Alicia could dress him up just like their dogs!

And then I got distracted thinking about LynZ Way. 'Cause she's pretty and awesome and not terrifying. And Gerard/Nick makes no sense. Gerard would just talk to Nick really earnestly about questionable decisions and not sleeping with people who are twice your age. And then maybe asking him to babysit. But, I can kind of see Gerard/Kevin? Or Gerard/Kevin/LynZ. Gerard just wants Kevin to experience life to the fullest. And they're friends and totally understand self-sacrifice and big brotherly stuff. And it would just be a really sweet friendly relationship. Lyn might join them or not depending on her mood, but it's all cool and casual and really awesome. ...I am not writing Gerard/Kevin. That is ridiculous. NO, Kelsey.

Later I was thinking about, really, how Mikey and Joe actually have a lot in common. With the special, pretty much. I have really, just, confusion about Mikey. Because he's SO HOT. And SO SO special (the man once tried to take a space heater in the shower. He was stopped before he was electrocuted). And those things just don't go together in my head.

Anyway, so Joe/Mikey(/Alicia?), Kevin/Gerard/LynZ, and I guess that leaves Nick and Brendon Urie to be awesome and in love?

...I should really find a job that keeps my brain busier.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-15T18:34:00

2009-10-16T01:59:59Z

* I was about to feel weird about the fact that I have 8 icons of just Nick Jonas (12 icons that Nick is in, not including Easy icons that are a whole other thing) but then I realized I have 11 icons of Brendon Urie (5 individual). So I'm not EXTRA creepily obsessed with Nick. Just the usual amount. I debated switching my default icon but once again resisted because 1) I really love it a lot and 2) I've been using it pretty exclusively for a couple of years and I'm afraid people wouldn't recognize me without it!

* HI! New friends! Hi, hi, HI! I am very glad to have new people to squee with! I would have greeted you all earlier, but I didn't have anything to post. Still don't actually.

* Third week of bowling league last night. I am getting better! Apparently, if you do what every one else is doing and kind of walk up to the lane and gently roll your ball down it, you will be more successful than if you stand at the end of the lane and flail around and then hurl your ball in the general direction of the pins. WHO KNEW?

Also yesterday I made 72 blueberry muffins. For work. It went okay, but for all the work it was, I didn't think that the reaction today was necessarily worth it. Oh well. I like baking, so I'll probably do it again.

* I owe wordsaremyfaith Joespam. So that will happen in the next few days. I just keep finding pictures I haven't seen before. I don't really understand how this is possible, but it's rad.

* Heh. iTunes just played "Potential Breakup Song", Taylor Swift, and "7 Things" right in a row. I still love you Jonases!

...In conclusion, I had nothing to say.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-12T19:28:00

2009-10-13T03:29:06Z

* One of the hazards of being in a smallish fandom (bandslashmania has 1,711 members, jb_fic has 261 [hilariously, easy_academy has 268 members... I'm not really sure how that works but it's awesome].) is that there is not fic CONSTANTLY and you can't be nearly as picky about the pairings you'll read/re-read. Or, you can, but you will spend a lot of time twiddling your thumbs and waiting for something interesting to happen. Bandom totally spoiled me, but it's also been slowish lately. Is something up? Are people gearing up for Nano and yuletide already?

Speaking of yuletide, depending on the categories, I am thinking I will sign up this year. Since apparently I can only write/complete challenges if I'm writing for someone. I've been sucking at forcing myself to write for a couple of years. I think it's that vicious circle of not having ideas and then not getting ideas thing. The last fandom I wrote really regularly for was RENT, and that was mostly because speed_rent kind of forced me. The fact that I was prolific in Veronica Mars was entirely the fault of sexycereal and how much time we spent on AIM hand-holding and writing at each other. Last fall-ish, siren_mage got me telling her stories over AIM and text, but I didn't get most of them past chatfic readability. Those are probably the next things to go up at incendiarywits, I seem to be having trouble letting go of Panic! on the Titanic...

* I just lost a few hours to Cute Overload and then wanting a pet hedgehog. They are WRETCHEDLY cute. Also illegal in California, but, that's probably a good thing for me.

* Speaking of California, I feel like Southern California might be the most fannishly barren part of the country. It seems like people in other places manage to meet up way more easily. I am desperate for fannish contact so I'm planning fly to Seattle next month (Southwest is having a sale) to make grabby hands at my and murgatrude. NEED fangirls and flail and squee and snuggles. NEED.

* KICKBALL. So, remember the time my favorite thing about the Jonas Brothers was their softball team? Well now that softball season is over, they have a KICKBALL team. Complete with uniforms. I feel it is safe to lay all blame for this at the feet of young Nicholas Jonas.

* Here is contact stuff, should anyone ever want to randomly IM me (yes please!) or follow me on twitter.
AIM: purestarwater6
g-talk: bluestargirl
twitter: kelseya

Aaaand new friends! Or old ones! You can still ask me questions about me! should you want to.

WiP Amnesty Month continues (pt. 3)

2009-10-11T07:59:54Z

Even though it's October, WiP Amnesty "Month" continues over at incendiarywits.

The newest additions are:

Enhanced Shine - 715 words about Ryan rediscovering his crush on Brendon circa Honda Civic Tour 2008. (I thought this was a WiP, but I suppose it could be a standalone ficlet, maybe.)

Snowed in Vegas - ficlet about the time it snowed and stuck in Vegas.

Not Like The Other Romans - 1,784 words about bi!Jon as requested by bruisesonguitar. It's sort of a roughly sketched out story, but technically complete.

fic where Brendon's a drug addict - 2,655 words. Guess what this one's about? It's a little dark, but nothing extreme. There's a scene emetephobes might want to scroll by, but it's not graphic.

I'd love a comment if you read any of these!

Assorted Bullet Pointy Things

2009-10-08T06:27:51Z

* I am pretty sure I have not mentioned here that I'm on a bowling league. It's silly and low-key (which is good because I am an awful bowler) and with sparly and girthygrizelda and our moms. Anyway, our second night was tonight, is all. Yeah, I have bowling on Wednesdays, because I am secretly a 65 year old man. That, or awesome.

* I just got Netflix and spend waaaaaaaaaay too much time rating movies and adding things to my queue. There are like 80 things in it, and I've had Netflix for three days. (Like, three actual days, that isn't an exaggeration.)

* It is still forcedmovement's birthday here! Happy, happy, happy birthday, dude! I am so glad I know you and that we've gotten to hang out in person. THERE WILL BE MORE HANG OUTS!!!

* A thing you should know about me is that I am a whore for DVD commentaries, especially actor commentaries. I have legit bought shows on DVD just to have the commentaries. (Why, Kelsey, I see you just signed up for Netflix. Are these two points related? Shut up.) Anyway, I was watching the commentary for the pilot of Life a bit ago. It was my first time hearing Damien Lewis' British voice! ...I don't know how to feel about it. Well, I mean, I feel fine about it. It's the man's VOICE for heaven's sake, but, he's not Dick Winters (spoiler alert). The commentary actually talked about BoB for a second, and people were fangirling Dick Winters and DLew was all "... ... Yeah. That's right" about it, which both made me sad and also made me giggle.

* I did that name anagram thing earlier and my full name came out as "LADYLIKE, MEASURED COOLNESS" which I think is awesome. I'm kind of tempted to make it my user name since I'm not super attached to "secret rumor baby".

* I maybe have 2,000 words of Jonas Brothers fic written?

* Oh! I know the thing that was actually (vaguely, mildly) important that I wanted to say. Which is, I have collected a few new friends since June-ish. And if you wanted to ask me questions about who I am/what I'm into/what my life's like, I would totally answer them. (No one ever plays memes with me and yet I still try. Whatever. I'd like it if you played.)

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-06T17:43:00

2009-10-07T01:30:59Z

It's been kind of an inexplicably shitty day for me. There were ups, for sure (including the picspam ashavahista posted that partly inspired thia), but mostly downs. And then I was twittering wordsaremyfaith (♥) and talking about Nick Jonas hotness (spoiler alert: he's my faaaaaaaaaaaaaavorite).

Anyway, here are 40 pictures of Nick. Because it's been a bad day and I'm out of chocolate and I wanted to, dammit.

Someone should explain to me why this is one of my favorite pictures of Nick. Because I'm really, really inordinately fond of it.

He's so SMIRKY all the time.

I love how classic Nick is. Partly it's his style, partly it's him, but he's just sort of timeless looking a lot.

See what I mean?

How is he so pretty and perfect and wonderful and awesome, you guys?

I am DIGGING this new hair so much. It's very classic looking. (Uh, apparently I have a thing? That I didn't realize I had until I started captioning this picspam? Cool)

Boy and his smiling puppy! You can't go wrong there.

UGH, Nicholas. How are you so, so attractive to me at your age?

This is one of my other favorite photos of him. Because it's GORGEOUS and he looks happy and I always find myself smiling back at him.

Cocky kid.

Newest favorite picture. He's all timeless and I covet that sweater.

We're just gonna take a couple of moments to oogle the hell out of Nick in this and the next couple of pictures.

It's cool, he's totally 17 now (and also when these were taken)!

God bless white t-shirts.

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH.

I dig him.

A lot.

And by "dig", I actually mean that I have a giant stupid heart-pounding, sweaty palms, ridiculous crush on Nick.

Dorky!Nick is pretty great.

And sweetest older brother!Nick.

Aaand hotass!Nick.

It's kind of blurry, I know, but it is the greatest Nick smiling picture ever. Look at that kid. How does anyone not love him? I legit don't understand.

Hearts in my eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes.

He's so sweet. And great.

This is pretty much just here for giggles, really. That and how Pete clearly wants a piece of him. I ...do not blame you one bit, Peter.

He's just pretty. And I enjoy this scarf on him.

Aww, baby rockstar.

I just really enjoy this kid in sport coats.

I choose to believe this was a deliberate ironic choice. That was MEAN. And he looks GOOD in it.

He just looked SO GOOD this day. I enjoy it a lot.

Nnnnngh.

Nick Jonas is making me appreciate ties SO MUCH.

Such an adorable awkward dork.

Put a boy behind a piano and he automatically gets hotter. I'm a little concerned Nick might burst into flames.

You're welcome.

Mmmm.

Okay, this is actually for really real my favorite new-to-me picture of Nick Jonas. Because, oh, IT ACTUALLY TAKES MY BREATH AWAY. So pretty *whimpers*

In conclusion: Well, *I* feel better now, how about you?

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-05T00:54:00

2009-10-05T07:55:22Z

♥

I just want you to know that I love you.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-10-04T19:58:00

2009-10-05T03:13:24Z

* I just got back from seeing Whip It, which was actually really really awesome. I was sort of on the fence about seeing it, but it was SO GOOD. You should see it, too. Even if you don't like Ellen Page, Drew Barrymore, or roller derby. It also contains possibly the greatest makeout scene in the history of cinema.

* It's been kind of a weird weekend, my best friend's school best friend has been visiting and I've hung out with them a few times. It's been nice, just a little weird shifting the dynamics.

* I'm kind of obsessed with Farmville on Facebook. Which is really lame, but, *shrug*

* It's been in the 60s and really dry the last few days, so it's starting to feel like autumn around here. I wasn't really ready for summer to end, but now that it's here, I'm pretty excited about fall. I get to bust out my fun flavors of lip balm (today it's caramel apple), and things have good spices, and I have like three BPAL perfumes I really like for fall and only a few that feel apt in the summer, and I get to start wearing sweaters and scarves soon! Yay!

* I got an idea for a Jonas Brothers fic at the movies today! I'm not sure it's gonna happen, it might be more ambitious than I'm prepared for, but I'm pretty excited to have an idea beyond "Someone should really write ______".

Sidenote one: Aside from the boyfriends_fic crackfic challenge, there is a distinct lack of crackfic in the Jonas Brothers fandom. Where are the wingfics? The animal transformations? The SEX POLLEN? The sprawling AUs? There are a couple, but, come ON, fandom. Everyone knows you're not a real fandom until someone turns one of your characters into an adorable kitten. EVERYONE KNOWS.

Sidenote two: The fabulous ashavahista has posted The Giant Joe/Nick recs list, which is pretty darn awesome and a great starting point for JoBros fic.

And I think that's all I have for you all right now.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-09-29T17:27:00

2009-09-30T00:53:46Z

Here are some things I was going to post about last night but then I was quarterlife crisis-y and emo and then just wanted to be happy so I Jonasspamed.

Sports Night - is a show that has been referenced and rec'd on my friends list off and on pretty much since I joined LJ. And I finally started watching it. And mainlined it. It is pretty awesome, not gonna lie. So if people wanted to talk to me about that, or link me to epic fluffy Dan-and-Casey-in-love-forever fic, I would not say no.

Jonathan Jackson is coming back to play Lucky on General Hospital (which, aha, I totally forgot to watch this afternoon. I knew there was something I meant to watch). Little known fact, General Hospital was my first fandom, circa 1998ish. And was totally all about the Lucky/Liz relationship. I totally Googled for my fic last night but didn't find any, thank god. I was 13. I haven't watched the show regularly in a few years, but I've kept up somewhat. Anyway, I'm kind of excited about this.

Sometimes I think, when I'm making picspams of brothers in love, about how and why I am where I am fannishly. Like I'm not sure I could be doing the Jonas Brothers thing if I hadn't had bandom, and I'm not sure I'd have been able to be fully in bandom without RENT and, anyway, you get the idea. I've had static fandoms, movies or musicals where there isn't a lot more canon to bring in, and tv fandoms, but in retrospect, having GH, a show that airs 5 days a week 52 weeks a year (pretty much) probably really helped set me up for the ability to have an RPF fandom. Because it's a lot of canon CONSTANTLY. So, that.

Hey, Band of Brothers. Yep, that's my segue and I'm sticking to it. I watched "The Breaking Point" yesterday. I think I was kind of mixing it and "Bastogne" up. Because I like "Bastogne". Roe ♥♥♥. "The Breaking Point" is good, but, yeah, it breaks me. And I'm busy still being mad at Webster (reality, what?) and so not super psyched for "The Last Patrol". But "Why We Fight" and "Points" and true loooooove.

Okay. I'm done now. Have a meme:

Name a fandom, and I will tell you my:
OTP:
Runner-up:
Honorable mention(s):
Crack pairing(s):
Ship everyone else seems to like, but I don't:

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-09-28T20:59:00

2009-09-29T06:36:08Z

Okay. You know what? I had this emo post started, which was pretty much second verse same as the first, a little bit louder and a little bit worse, but screw that. Instead have a bunch of pictures of Joe and Nick Jonas being in love. (Ooor you can just look at pretty pictures of Jonases and ignore my comments. That's cool too.)

I've posted this before, and it's awesome. But. These the two pictures that come before it.

So not only are they posing all in loveishness, but at some point WHILE PERFORMING A CONCERT (at Bamboozle, no less) Joe had to physically REMOVE Nick's tie and then tie it around his head.

...I really don't know what to do with that. But that seems like a pretty good segue into the Joe-and-Nick-in-love-at-shows section.

Nick putting the moves on Joe, not completely unheard of, but always fun to see. Alllso, just, check out Nick for a bit. It's cool. I give you permission. Under this cut there is no judging, remember?

This is a fairly recent picture and one of my very, very favorites. Ugh, boys.

See? Joe WANTS you to write really angsty fic about his (sexual) relationship with his brothers. Who are you to deny Joe Jonas? Nobody, that's who.

And speaking of brothers who aren't Joe and Nick, it's time for the group of photographs I like to call "Kevin who?"

Note where Nicks hands are, please. Also note where by process of elimination Joe's right arm must be.

Another possessive hands around shoulders moment. Mmm, possesive.

In which Kevin appears to be chaperoning Joe and Nick's date.

Admit it, for a second you thought nick had his hand on Joe's ass, didn't you? And it was an AWESOME second.

WHY are Joe and Nick holding hands? Who cares?

*love*

Kevin who?

Do I know a Kevin?

No, really, Kevin?

Who's Kevin?

The name does sound vaguely familiar...

I'm pretty sure I don't have a brother named Kevin.

That's Kevin's elbow. And Joe and Nick working pretty hard to be sitting that close together.

and Kevin's been cropped out of this one entirely. For obvious reasons.

Now let's just look at Joe and Nick looking at each other for a bit.

You have seen this before, you will see it again. It is one of my favorite things ever.

Boooooooooooooooooooooyfriends

... ... ... ... ...

God, Nick, be more coy. And seductive. While looking at your brother. *shrug* Alright.

I feel like a really awesome story could be written from this picture.

Oh, you know, just one brother checking out another in the city of lights. No big.

I feel this pretty much speaks for itself.

This is Joe's Nick for Joe. You can't have him.

Nick's serious about softball, but that's ridiculous.

Pretty. And in love.

Love the boyfriends, HATE the sweater. (On Nick, anyway. I think it'd be cute on me.)

Lolololololololol. Oh, Joe.

They kill me, really.

And, because no Nick/Joe picspam is complete without them:

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-09-23T15:38:00

2009-09-24T01:11:17Z

Spoiler alert: I really fucking love Panic at the Disco. And Brendon's song about blow job. ...Apparently they're radio-editing out the "Can we fast forward to go down on me" line. Which, okay, but the entire song is explicit in a vague metaphory way. The first line is "I feel the salty waves come in"! And I know I have a ridiculously filthy mind, but, uh, so does Brendon Urie. Come on.

I went to Target last night to get Jonas on dvd. But it's apparently one volume and 4 or 5 episodes (two of which are never-before-seen). Which is odd, expect for how obviously Disney wants to suck as much money as possible out of people. Whatever, it is working. Also, okay, it was $15. Which means if it's a 3 disc set, it's gonna be $45. I'm not sure I would actually buy Jonas for $45 (okay, that's a lie. I totally would. Or ask for it for Christmas), but, $15 for 3 separate purchases SEEMS way more reasonable.

While I was looking at dvds, I noticed that season 2 of Life is out. And like $40. But it promises cast and crew commentaries. I am the biggest whore in the world for cast commentaries. Especially if I really like one or more of the actors. (See - the entire reason I actually own a copy of Grind.) Soo, basically I am asking if it is worth purchasing this dvd. Or if anyone knows of a commentary archive online (I would die. And never do a productive thing again in my life but that would be the raddest EVER.)

Jury Duty yesterday. Was boring. I got really invested in it though, and was pretty bummed when I didn't get selected for an actual jury.

Today sucked. Just, was terrible until right before I went home. Since then, life's basically been really fantastically awesome.

I would really like a Band of Brothers vid set to "World War III" please. ...I know I'm completely irreverent, but, come on, that would be fantastic.

That is all.

pressdbtwnpages @ 2009-09-18T00:10:00

2009-09-18T07:30:03Z

Lately I feel the desire to check in with my flist a lot. Not in a needy way, or because things are changing faster than I'm ready for, but maybe all of those things. So I'm just gonna babble for a bit about some dumb stuff and some serious stuff and you're either gonna read or scroll on by, but know this: I'm okay. I don't need hugs or cheering up or acknowledgment or really anything but just to talk for a minute. Try not to let it scare you away please.

* Lea Michele from Glee reminds me So. Much. of a young Idina Menzel that it kind of wigs me out sometimes.

* My brother's been having this intermittent lower back pain for like six months now. He's been to ERs and doctors appointments and not gotten any really solid answers until this week. He's got an incurable degenerative condition sort of related to arthritis. It's not a huge deal. He's completely fine about it, I'm completely fine about it, the only person who isn't fine is my mother and she's kind of a drama queen about this kind of thing. So there that is.

* I'm really happy with Disney/Jonas Brothers as a fandom. I really am. I wasn't ready for it, though it had been tugging at me since before Panic split. My fandoms find me, whether I'm ready or not. Whether I want them too or not. I want to still care about bandom the same way (I'll always CARE, just, not like before), but I just don't.

Simultaneously, I'm having trouble sharing my new fandom. I WANT people to be excited and flail with me and write gorgeous stories. But. I found it on my own. I haven't carved my niche in yet. I don't know who I am in this fandom and I don't want to be trampled on. My issues are mine and that's cool. Please come play, don't hold back on my account. Just, I don't know. I've been feeling it lately and it's frustrating and now it's out there in the universe.

* I got to AIM with sexycereal for awhile today and it was fabulous. She totally pulled me out of my mood and it was good to catch up and just be around my S. for a bit. It had been waaaaaay too long.

* Sometimes I get in these fights or moods or rages or whatever with people and it turns out that I'm the only one fighting. It's frustrating and makes me feel inferior and stupid and weak that I can't keep better control of my emotions. Also like I just want to have a screaming fight with someone to get everything out once and for all.

* Picked back up on my Band of Brothers re-watch today. Wow, that series makes crazy more sense on the re-watch, and not just because I can kind of recognize many of the characters this time around.

* Really crazy awkward when twitterfox shows a pop-up of someone's tweet while you are reading fic about them. Especially sexy, kinky, or otherwise questionable fic.

...So, those were some things I wanted to say, stupid or not, and I kind of do feel better now that I've said them. But also like it's really late and I should sleep now.